New Director's Cut of Star Wars. (Lots of Directors)

First off, let's make this abso-frickin-lutely crystal clear. Han shot first. Greedo was a scumbag who deserved it, and any mamby-pamby bullshit that followed later just diluted his roguish character. Sure as piss is yellow and hippies need to bathe, only sissies, asshats and Keith Olbermann fans believe Greedo shot first. Deal with it or get bent.

Despite this and other changes made by his imminence The Lucas (who looks a little bit like he ate the old Lucas, by the way), we find that we really like this. Some parts are better than others, of course, but it's still fun to watch. Have you heard of this deal? Basically they divided the entire first Star Wars movie up into fifteen (15) second pieces and allowed fans to reshoot those sequences. Then they put it all back together. Skip past the boring stuff if you want. Watch for the occasional action figure, Legos or boobs.

In regards to changing, updating and "improving" the Star Wars movies (which George Lucas has been doing for a while now), we'd like to offer this argument against George's idea. It's from a guy named George Lucas.

“These current defacements are just the beginning. Today, engineers with their computers can add color to black-and-white movies, change the soundtrack, speed up the pace, and add or subtract material to the philosophical tastes of the copyright holder. Tomorrow, more advanced technology will be able to replace actors with ‘fresher faces,’ or alter dialogue and change the movement of the actor’s lips to match. It will soon be possible to create a new ‘original’ negative with whatever changes or alterations the copyright holder of the moment desires…." (More here.)

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If you're interested, there's a site called Save Star Wars that's worth looking at, even if you don't agree with them (or any of the other mongrel hordes of maniacal Star Wars zealots). More on the project here.

Now, because we try to keep you informed as well as entertained, we bring you this video of an important Star Wars car wash.

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The Mad Duo can be contacted here on UTR, over on Kit Up! or at Breach-Bang-Clear. High speed, low drag celebrities of the actionfigure and steely-eyed snaker-eater world, the commentary of Richard “Swingin’ Dick” Kilgore and Jake “Slim” Call has been likened to a .308 op-ed to the head. They don’t like the Taliban, marplots, hippies, sissies or SNCOs and officers who don’t grasp the concept of Noblesse Oblige. Loyalty starts from the top down, assclowns. (Some folks have asked for some background on the intrepid doorkicking twosome: check out Breach Bang Clear for more.) Please go right now and join them on Facebook, unless you’re a hippie, sissy, are anti-military, own any expensive show cats or believe Greedo shot first.

Picture courtesy of Lynn and Melissa and some unnamed gal at Toby Keith's on the strip. (We love the Tac Girls and unnamed girls with great rear ends.) Follow the Duo on Facebook.com/MadDuo or BreachBangClear.com