In the eyes of the dead, we are all food. Pic courtesy of Divine Lunacy.
Yes, ZOMREP. As in Zombie Report. You know, like SITREP, STATREP, and INTREP; Situation Report, Status Report and Intelligence Report. Of course you do, we’re not telling you something you don’t already know. We’re only articulating that for the hippies who’re undoubtedly reading this in an effort to understand their enemy.
Anyway, you may be getting tired of the zombie meme. We are very slowly beginning to do the same…that doesn’t meant you don’t still need to be prepared for the end of all things. Nobody wants to see the walking dead overrun the earth (except perhaps for the occasional necrophage…grunts, necrophagy.) So, we’ve prepped a ZOMREP zombiepocalypse update for you.
First, you might check out Brains Magazine, from ZombiesEatPeople. They describe Brains magazine as the “absolute in all things zombie, from primitive survival to modern comedy…” Apparently it’s going to have zombie centerfolds (good for you necrophiliacs, unless you prefer your nookie completely unmoving) to some clinical psychology. The Brainsmagazine website is here.
If you want to check it out, there is a Brains magazine facebook page, and a free download of the first issue (though it’s a bit of a pain in the ass to get to it). Among the stories inside are Complete Home Makeover, Zombie Edition, Eight Most Underrated Zombie Movies and Fun shit to do until zombies walk.
Second, keep an eye out for A Little Bit Zombie, an indie zombie comedy which apparently begins when in infected mosquito bites some poor bastard. That’s a hell of a lot more awesome than any old West Nile Virus eh? We’re not sure what’s worse. The bitchy bridezilla or the brain-eatin’, though we sincerely hope the cat fight winds up with the girls nekkid. It’s pretty damn funny, check out the trailer.
Or third, if you want something a little more serious, you might watch for the independent cop movie Zombie Valley.
Fourth and next you should check out this article atThe Oatmeal, just to be safe. It’ll tell you how long it’ll take you to turn once you’re bit. At a minimum, have your spouse and your in-laws take it, so you have an excuse to put them down once everything goes zombiepocalyptic.
Lastly (fifth, in case you weren’t paying attention), a movie update for you. According to the Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide, you can look forward to these movies in the months to come:
2012
A Little Bit Zombie (2012, Canada) Updated: Oct 15, 2011 – Release Info: Post Production
Another World (2012, Israel) Updated: Jun 26, 2011 – Release Info: Release: early 2012
Zombies Vs. Robots (2013, U.S.) Updated: Mar 9, 2011 – Release Info: Optioned Property
That’s it for now. If you got to see us at SHOT Show, well, you’re welcome.
Mad Duo clear.
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The Mad Duo can be contacted here on UTR, over on Kit Up! or at Breach-Bang-Clear. High speed, low drag celebrities of the actionfigure and steely-eyed snaker-eater world, the commentary of Richard “Swingin’ Dick” Kilgore and Jake “Slim” Call has been likened to a .308 op-ed to the head. They don’t like the Taliban, marplots, hippies, sissies or SNCOs and officers who don’t grasp the concept of Noblesse Oblige. Loyalty starts from the top down, assclowns. (Some folks have asked for some background on the intrepid doorkicking twosome: check out Breach Bang Clear for more.) Please go right now and join them on Facebook, unless you’re a hippie, sissy, anti-military, own any expensive show cats or are a Marine Corps trombone player.
Z.E.R.T.
Zombie Eradication Response Team is one of the United States secretive Tier One Zombie Hunter and Unconventional Zombie warfare special mission units, commonly known as Z.E.R.T. It was formed under the D.O.Z.E (Dept Of Zombie Eradication) a clandestine government entity that came public after” Zulu hour”. Since there is no record origin, and any and all remaining information is still classified, no one knows the Units Activation date.
Z.E.R.T.s Primary tasks are, Counter Zombie Operations, HK (Hunter Killer Missions) and National intervention operations, although it is an extremely versatile group capable of assuming many covert Unconventional Zombie Warfare Operations.
Z.E.R.T. is comprises of 3 active Squadrons;
X Squadron (West Coast)
Y Squadron (Central US)
Z Squadron (East Coast)
It is rumored that smaller “Mission Specific” Teams operation within the Squadrons. The word “Juggernaut and the letters S.D.S has been known to be these so called “mission specific” Teams.
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Under the Radar is commentary. We don’t report the news; we offer our take on what happened.
2 Comments
Z.E.R.T.
Zombie Eradication Response Team is one of the United States secretive Tier One Zombie Hunter and Unconventional Zombie warfare special mission units, commonly known as Z.E.R.T. It was formed under the D.O.Z.E (Dept Of Zombie Eradication) a clandestine government entity that came public after” Zulu hour”. Since there is no record origin, and any and all remaining information is still classified, no one knows the Units Activation date.
Z.E.R.T.s Primary tasks are, Counter Zombie Operations, HK (Hunter Killer Missions) and National intervention operations, although it is an extremely versatile group capable of assuming many covert Unconventional Zombie Warfare Operations.
Z.E.R.T. is comprises of 3 active Squadrons;
X Squadron (West Coast)
Y Squadron (Central US)
Z Squadron (East Coast)
It is rumored that smaller “Mission Specific” Teams operation within the Squadrons. The word “Juggernaut and the letters S.D.S has been known to be these so called “mission specific” Teams.
well, its not a secret anymore, might as well give them addresses too. so much for opsec.