Red Dawn Redux
We talked about the onset of the Red Dawn remake a couple of days ago, before this trailer was released. (We choose the word onset because it’s eerily reminiscent of the beginning stages of an STD — given what we’ve seen of this movie, it seems appropriate).That’s right. Thor and Tom Cruise’s kid and this goofy bastard are going to fight off the North Koreans:
What could possibly go wrong? Oh, and Thor is actually playing a Marine, but don’t get too excited. He’s not a salty grunt, an ANGLICO, Scout-Sniper or Recon guy from MARSOC. He’s a trombone player in the USMC band fresh from a perilous billet on board the USS Jane Fonda.
So yeah, they’re remaking Red Dawn. Actually they already did remake Red Dawn, they’re just now releasing it. There haven’t been any real trailers to date, just conjecture and well-deserved mockery but now they HAVE put out a movie poster…it looks even worse than we expected, though in fairness you can’t judge a flop by its poster. Certainly it will be hard to go one better than the cult classic of the ‘80s, but who knows? The North Koreans might make good villains; maybe they actually survived the deadly attentions of Team America and have come looking for some payback. (Which makes us wonder…will Matt Damon fight against us alongside his North Korean friends?)
If you’re not familiar with the history of this movie, it was supposed to come out a couple of years ago. However, MGM had some financial trouble and then the studio decided that making Chinese the villains was a Bad Idea since Chinese investors might be the only people with enough $$$ to save the studio. Since the Canadians look too much like us to be effective opponents and the French would surrender to three midgets with a tomahawk (much less a motivated band of American partisans), they went to the next best choice: North Korea. Because when they’re not starving to death or watching downloaded American porn, Kim Jong-Il’s men are plotting how to invade CONUS.
Read the rest of our review here in its entirety.
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![Der Gro?mufti von Jerusalem [Amin al Husseini] bei den bosnischen Freiwilligen der Waffen-SS. Der Gro?mufti ist auf dem Truppenubungsplatz ein[getroffen] und schreitet die Front der angetretenen Freiwilligen mit erhobenem Arm ab.](http://images-undertheradar.military.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/nazicollaborators300.jpg)
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15 Comments
The Original Red Dawn was awesome. I fear the remake may not be as good.
Moondawg„„„I agree, The first/original “Red Dawn” was awsome, I think a redo/makeover of the movie will never be as good as the first,Actors included will never be as good as the original cast.
I Agree…This Remake will NOT touch the Original..
In the original there was a credIble enemy, the soviets, who demonstrated several times that poorly equipped armies can win against a well organized and equipped enemy and beat them back to Berlin. Thier courage, tenacity, and outright power of the soviet was a major reason why I volunteered for the submarine force. To try to resell this story with a Korean enemy is laughable. How in the world could they project power over the pacific ocean in forces to land on our shores? They cannot even feed their people.
No even the original movie had to provide a western hemisphere ally to the soviets to project force onto our soil, recall Mexico and Nicaragua were both the launching points. We, who remain the only successful nation to ever cross an ocean and wage a war of invasion against an civilized nation only were able to do it because we had Britian and Pacific islands as launching points.
Like most of what Hollywood shows about the military is bull, it’s not small specialized groups who win wars, it’s brigades, divisions and in WWII regiments, armies filled with thousands of nameless identically trained and equipped soldiers and marines that overwhelm the enemy. To make the story personal, they need a hero figure. Wars aren’t won that way but movies are, it’s fantasy.
So you telling me that a nation with 1970’s Soviet equipment and 25 million starving people are going to take on the greatest military power in the world (for now) and 300 million Americans not counting our NATO allies? LOL! I hate it all ready!
Maybe it’s taking place about three years after this sequestration takes effect. Well armed Boy Scouts would have a good chance of succeeding.
The Plot of this movie is TERRIBLE!!! Nothing against the Actors, BUT This Movie Will Suck, Even with the Hoilday Release ( Thanksgiving) it will be a Box Office Disappointment.…
The original Script put the Chineses as our enemy. Why North Korea? Go figure.
They are afraid of reprocussions?
Hold on as this nonsensical movie becomes somewhat plausible after these developments occur: Obama wins another term and unconstitutionally expands his illegal powers beyond to confiscate and ban firearms using expanded IRS powers on the coat-tails of ObominationCare. Obama has the US placed under United Nations treaties, rules, regs, and policies which circumvent any NATO agreements. Liberals push astronomical taxes on businesses and successful individuals which produces wholesale departures of businesses and wealth to other countries who offer low taxes. Because businesses and wealthy leave, Obama and career Washington politicians lower the taxation boom on everyone left. The gigantic budget shortfall and deficits in turn causes career Washington politicians of both parties to abandon our national defense and gut our military of its manpower, resources, equipment, and bases. Even with the crashing economy and the reallignment of the economic order as other countries shoot ahead with their own prosperity while the USA’s economy and quality of life plummets, North Korea continues to flounder under the failed prinicples of Marxism and the soft-shoe approach championed by Liberals. Facing the continued starvation of its subjects and emboldened by the escalating deterioration and fall of the once proud and mighty America from the leading world power to pauper, North Korea seizes the opportunity to invade a greatly weakened and inpotent America for vast natural resources which the Liberals had outlawed from being mined, harvested and utilized.
Under these developments which all are predicated on an Obama re-election, this movie suddenly becomes plausible. BTW, Obama and Liberals’ dream of dismanteling our military would result in the biggest garage sale of military technolgy ever seen and change the balance of power throughout the world.
How are the Norks going to get here — rowboat fleet?
They would have to have a backer with sufficient resources and modern (year 2000 at least ) weapons.
The studio that produced this tripe, caved in big time to political correctness. ‘Better Red than dead’ is the MGM mantra., ‘we’re all communist now’ is MGM motto. MGM sold out to the American People, sold out the United States, sold out every real American that has given his/her life fighting for this Nation for real. MGM sucks. I really enjoyed and still do the ‘original’ Red Dawn. Passing on this piece of crap ‘remake’.
Personally I think if the Norks (with backers like the Chinese) invaded the Mexicans and their fifth columnists already here would make a military sweep up from the south and take the lower half of Mexifornia and most of the Southwest with a major death zone setting up along a north-south line dividing Texas. The Norks would stop them before they got to Denver, but not by much.
At first they would be ‘just helping the US’ against the Norks but then they’d do ‘an Arab’ and turn on us to grab off a huge chunk of Aztlan as they call it.
I’ll pick up a bootleg copy at the bazaar in Kandahar and watch it. I already know it’s gonna be terrible, but at least this way the anti-military studios who make their money from war films won’t make a dime off me!! It’s funny that people like Matt Damon are so anti-military but don’t mind making money off of being in movies where they play soldiers.….D-bags!
I had the pleasure of working on the original Red Dawn as a stunt parachutist in the opening scenes. The final film was a reasonably entertaining action-adventure cult genre movie. Most remakes don’t live up to the original. Examples being the Rambo and Rocky series. Pure fantasy entertainment. They probably didn’t even use real parachutists in the remake since computer animation is so much cheaper. By the way, the original film was to be titled “Ten Soldiers” but MGM came up with the cooler title. I’ll probably see it knowing full well I’m just viewing another fantasy film as usual from Hollywood located out here on the left coast. Pray, vote & buy more ammo.